One Man’s Trash
TRUSTWORTHY CLIENT ED CORBU: Ho-lee shit, you actually came. [PLAYER], in the flesh.
Y’know, the invitation I sent you was sort of a Hail Mary. To be frank, I was 90 percent certain you wouldn’t even respond. But here you are, gods be praised!
DARIUS: Yeah, here we are.
Would you care to explain what we’re looking at, Mr. Corbu?
TRUSTWORTHY CLIENT ED CORBU: Oh, yeah… ha-ha, my damned Holocamera’s on the fritz. You’re getting the parrot, right? I think that’s my comm system’s default image, the one they use for the display models.
Just try to ignore it. We’ve got serious business to discuss.
PLAYER: I’ll bet. Why don’t you tell us about it?
TRUSTWORTHY CLIENT ED CORBU: Okay, so here’s the deal. I’ve got these associates. Nobody you’ve ever heard of, nobody you need to worry about. But they shell out big money for old stuff—you know, bits and bobs from the Star League days. Doesn’t matter if it’s working or not; if it’s ancient, they want it.
PLAYER: Your associates aren’t alone in that. A lot of people would give their left arm for a piece of genuine LosTech.
TRUSTWORTHY CLIENT ED CORBU: Yeah, but you’re talking about the stuff that has value. ‘Mechs, ships, lasers, that kind of thing. My friends? They want everything, including literal garbage. And that makes opportunities for people like you and me.
TRUSTWORTHY CLIENT ED CORBU: So here’s the deal. Way off the tip of Glentworth’s northern continent, there’s this island called Men Lojowen. Now, I happen to know that there’s a Star League-era facility out there. The vultures have been picking at it for years, but there’s still meat on those bones, and I want you to fetch it for me.
SUMIRE: So you called us out here for a LosTech treasure hunt. Fantastic.
If you’d been up-front about that, I’d have argued against flying out here at all.
TRUSTWORTHY CLIENT ED CORBU: Hang on, hear me out. The facility I’m sending you to isn’t SLDF. That’s the beauty of this plan; because there’s nothing in there of any military value, nobody with any muscle is gonna show up to stop you.
You’re going after the equivalent of a Star League-era stapler factory, but that doesn’t matter to my associates. They’ll pay top dollar for whatever you pull out of there.
YANG: So what’s stopping you from heading down there yourself and looting the place?
TRUSTWORTHY CLIENT ED CORBU: A healthy sense of self-preservation. See, there are a couple gangs of scavengers on Men Lojowen who’re fighting over our stapler factory. They’re nobodies, just a bunch of amateurs who’d rather lob bombs at each other than learn to share.
And before you ask: no, they don’t have any BattleMechs. At most, you’ll run into a couple of run-down old tanks on each side. Nothing that you need to worry about!
PLAYER: Any fool with a BattleMech could pull off the kind of job you’re describing. So why come to us?
TRUSTWORTHY CLIENT ED CORBU: Because you’re the best! And I know you’re the best because I’ve got a pal at the MRB. Maybe you’ve met him—Phil Burdock?
…No? Well, me and Phil have an arrangement. I let him crash at my luxury time-share in Louth Abbey, and in return, he helps me find the right people for jobs that need doing.
PLAYER: So your process involves bribery and a time-share condominium. Got it.
TRUSTWORTHY CLIENT ED CORBU: Yes, you do! Now, what do you say? A quick drop onto the island with a lance of light ‘Mechs, maaaybe a skirmish with a vehicle or two, and the job’s done!
You scoop up whatever’s in the facility and drop it off at my condo. I go fence it to my associates, and you get a nice big payout. Easy as pie!
PLAYER: [Flashpoint decision: Take the job.] Sure. Why not? We’re in.
TRUSTWORTHY CLIENT ED CORBU: Brilliant, friend! Absolutely gods-damned brilliant.
I’ll be in touch when you’ve got the goods. Until then, you do your thing—don’t let me stand in your way.
—”One Man’s Trash: Mission Briefing,” BATTLETECH: Urban Warfare
SUMIRE: According to Corbu’s map, our Star League "stapler factory” should be somewhere just ahead of you. He also said that we shouldn’t run up against anything more dangerous than a combat vehicle or two, but I’d take that with a grain of salt.
FARAH: Perhaps more than a grain. I don’t especially trust Mr. Corbu, or his mysterious associates.
YANG: Me neither, but it’s refreshing to work for someone who’s obviously sketchy for a change. I mean, most of our clients are just as bad, but they’re much better at hiding it.
COMPUTER: INCOMING TRANSMISSION.
UNSAVORY CHARACTER NIGEL BINTON: I see that we’ve got some new BattleMechs on the field. Hello. My name is Binton, and if you’ve come for the vault, my hired cutthroats will be murdering you today.
UNSAVORY CHARACTER HAMPTON MODGE: Men Lojowen is my island, Binton. If I catch either of you near that vault, you’ll only wish you were dead. I’ve got a bucket of Proserpinan blood limpets and a vivid imagination, and I’m feeling eager to use ‘em.
DARIUS: Then I guess we’d better not let you catch us. Game faces on, everybody. We’ve got a fight on our hands.
—”One Man’s Trash: Mission 1 Intro,” BATTLETECH: Urban Warfare
FARAH: Commander, I’ve been studying the symbols on the crates that our lance pulled from the facility. Against all odds, it looks like Mr. Corbu was telling us the truth. We’ve just stolen several tons of commercial-grade LosTech desk accessories.
YANG: Well, that’s one for the record books. We just pulled the biggest stapler heist in human history.
FARAH: And to think, Binton and Modge have been at each other’s throats over this vault for months. People have died for this. How do we break it to them that they were fighting over garbage?
SUMIRE: It isn’t our job to break anything to them. All we need to do is get this crap to Louth Abbey and get paid. Speaking of which, I’m setting a course, Commander. We’ll get Corbu on the horn as soon as we reach cruising altitude.
—”One Man’s Trash: Mission 1 Outro,” BATTLETECH: Urban Warfare
